Dan ketika kembara telah mencapai muara,

Selamat datang pada
angin lembab
aroma tanah basah
dan temaram senja
yang sudah terlalu lama
dirindukan..

Apa
kabarmu?

Kemana saja?

-depok, september 25 2012, 5:41 am-

Selamat datang pada
angin lembab
aroma tanah basah
dan temaram senja
yang sudah terlalu lama
dirindukan..

Apa
kabarmu?

Kemana saja?

-depok, september 25 2012, 5:41 am-

Pernahkah
marah

hingga tak ada kata-kata yang sanggup keluar?

dan hanya
sesak?

-----

Pernahkah
sedih

hingga tak ada air mata yang sanggup keluar?

dan hanya
sesak?

-----

Hari ini,

rasanya semua sudah sampai titik maksimal kesanggupan

Sepuluh bulan sudah..

-kukel, september 26 2012, 1:00 pm-

I don't feel good recently, too many things to think
well, it never leads us into a good state, rite?
I mean, when there're lotta things we should deal with..

I will just pick a thing up.
Never means that it might be totally exploitating my mind, but yes perhaps one of..

I ain't kinda one gets lotta girlfriends, well yeah, I used to be around men.
Maybe it is affected with my childhood, when I got more male friends than female.
Cause that how my neighborhood was.

It never put me into trouble, until my twentieth.
I started hating myself for not being such a good friend.
You must obviously ask me why, hahaha

Recently, and times ago, there's a big question mark on my mind.
Why do men act so weird once they get a crush on a female as if she's the last one ever exists,
but then act weirder when they got a "no" answer, as if the female never ever exists?
I mean, well, I got some uncomfortable experiences recently.

One of my colleague in the office is a very nice humorous guy.
Yes, he's  nice.
One day, he asked me on a date.
I gave him a smile, and said that he probably misreads myself.
How could he asked me out while he just knew me for not more two weeks?
Two weeks.
Then he asked twice, then thrice.
And I keep resisting.
Then he stopped.

One day, when I got into my office elevator, I saw him.
Well, not just two of us only but few persons also with us.
I was about giving him a smile and a light chitchat about weather topic and so.
He saw me, but then staring at another point.
Avoiding me.
What bouncing on my mind was "what the heck's going on?"
He kept acting as a fool for few minutes till the elevator reaching his office floor.
What the ??!

It's just  one example, and I still have bunches of it.
Why are men avoiding female who just put them as friends?
Not trying to be naive, but it is still bouncing on my mind.
"What the heck happens to you, men?"

-depok, september 29 2012, 2:18 am-

Sesesap teh lemon yang kuning keemasan,
seperti meregukkan hawa hangat yang menyeruak di pusaran dingin perut

hangat
hingga tetes embun di pucuk-pucuk daun pun
membawa kehangatan pagi yang nyata

dingin pagi yang hangat di hati

seperti rindu
yang menjelaga

seperti ruang kosong
yang hampa

seperti hatiku
yang menunggumu pulang

seperti inilah nanti
pulangmu, adalah pelukan hangat
bagi puing-puing rindu yang kukumpulkan

dan kita
akan duduk di sini
menyesap cangkir-cangkir teh
dan bercerita tentang hujan

dan aku
akan duduk di sampingmu
tersenyum
menyesap semua hangat hadirmu

ah, rindu ini..

-jakarta, september 29 2012, 08:17 pagi-

k   a   m   u

menyita benakku

haruskah aku bilang supaya kamu tahu?

-September 29 2012, 10:41-